Hypnosis and the Single Guy

HYPNOSIS AND THE SINGLE GUY
By
Roch D. Preite BCH
(AKA “the Best Hypnotist on Long Island)

When the Publisher of Lime Magazine asked me to write an article about hypnosis for men, the first thing that came to my mind was “Oh no, I am not going to write one of those cheesy things about seducing women by looking at them hypnotically or saying a few words that will mesmerize them into bed”. Hell, if that worked I’d probably be too busy to write this anyway. I have found that what is hypnotic and seductive to most women is self confidence. A guy that can walk into a room and know where he stands and know who he is (on the inside) will always get attention. That’s the guy that women are attracted to.
So the next question is how do I get to be that guy? Good question! It all comes from within. How many times have you seen an average looking guy with a dynamite looking woman? Now let’s be honest here, money can buy you that. Flash enough cash and you’ll automatically look good to lots of women who wouldn’t otherwise give you the time of day. But those women are not worth you time anyway so I am not talking about that guy. What I’m going to discuss here is how the average looking guy can be that guy. Or better yet how you already are that guy but you just keep getting in your own way. In the real world, nobody is going to change overnight. Reading a single article isn’t going to magically transform you into “THAT GUY”. You’ve got to understand that it will take a bit of work and maybe a session or two with a qualified hypnotist (okay…that’s a shameless plug, but what the heck you are reading this aren’t you?). I can give you some cool ideas to get you started on that path and maybe you’ll find your way to becoming that guy or maybe you will want to go further with hypnosis. Either way it’s a win/win.
In any 12 Step program they will tell you the first step in recovery is admitting that you have a problem. So take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? If the answer is yes, then we are on our way, you already have a fair amount of self confidence. But if the answer is anything other than yes, then we have some work to do here. Self image is very important, and if you feel less than great about your appearance, that comes across in waves when you are out on the prowl. Look, I seriously doubt that the guy looking back at you is Quasimodo. So an honest assessment is necessary to build on. Take stock of the features that you like about yourself, and just be aware of what you don’t like that much. You simply want to become more aware of the things that you find attractive because predominantly thinking about those things will make you more attractive than thinking about the stuff you don’t like. Did you ever wonder why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? It’s the same thing. So don’t allow the negatives in, just fix your attention on the positives and you’ll automatically become more attractive and self confident.
If there is stuff about you that you don’t like, there may be some things you can do to improve your self image right away. Wear clothes that flatter you and emphasize the things about your body that you like yet deflect things that you are not thrilled about. For heavens sake, take the time to groom yourself better. Get a haircut, shave, and use some products! Those are just obvious things and you don’t need a hypnotist to tell you that. Until you have those simple things taken care of, you won’t be ready to go to work on the inside.
If you need help with that stuff, there are lots of places to look. Probably the worst thing you could do is to go to your buddies for help. Those guys are chasing the same women as you. Do you think that they really want you to take the spotlight off of them? I don’t think so. There are tons of magazine articles, books and TV shows out there to check out but maybe you could just use your eyes?
One of the things that we learn in hypnosis is called Neuro-Linguistic Programming. That is a fancy way of saying hypnotizing someone without putting them into a traditional trance. It is the kind of thing that Anthony Robbins is famous for. I guess that if there is any truth to hypnotic seduction this is where it could be found. Believe it or not there are many courses and books about this, but for me, I still think that, in the end it all comes from within. Anyway, the first concept that you learn in NLP is called Modeling.
Modeling is the idea that if somebody else can do something, and if you can do it in the same way, then you can do it again and again. Makes sense to me! So, why not spend a night at the club not on the prowl but just observing. Look for guys that seem to have what it is that you want. Take a bunch of mental notes (please don’t bring a notepad and camera with you people will think you are a stalker or a narc). If they dress in a way that you think might suit you, then do your best to copy that look. While you are at it see how they behave around the women that are hanging around them. Your subconscious mind remembers everything and when the time comes you can recall it all and put it to good use.
Now is probably a good time to talk about your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind has a lot of jobs to do. But the biggest one of all is to “take care of you”. It’s in charge of a lot of things including our habits and how we habitually behave even how we feel physically. This is where hypnosis can have a real impact on your success. It is absolutely possible to change the way you feel and behave around women. If you are nervous, your heart is pounding, you are sweating, and feel tongue tied, there are all kinds of hypnotic techniques (another shameless plug) that can make you feel calmer, allow you to relax and enjoy this instead of dreading it.
Once you have made some notes about what you want and who you want to be, the way to begin achieving it is to act as if you already have them. That’s right; that’s what I said, just pretend that you already have it all. Believe it or not, it’s perfectly okay to lie to yourself. If you want to be that guy, just start acting like him. As you begin to believe in yourself, it will all come naturally. So now you are going to say “Hey Roch…you are kidding right? If it were that easy we would all be THAT GUY”. Well brother, wake up and smell the coffee because it really is just that easy. There are a couple of steps you need to take to get you there but it all starts with visualizing.
You need to visualize exactly who you are as “That Guy”. Picture yourself feeling calm, smooth, in control. As a matter of fact you should be repeating that to yourself over and over. I am calm, I am smooth, and I am in control. Make that a mantra for yourself. Paint a mental picture of exactly the way you want your next encounter to go. Make it really real! See, hear, feel, smell, and even taste everything you can think of so that you get into it. Run it like a movie in your mind backwards and forwards, freeze frame the important parts and paint a real mental picture of the guy that is you! Add your favorite music and just keep running it over and over. Do this for a few minutes every day and you will begin to believe in yourself and begin to have more positive feelings and then you will automatically become more confident and self assured.
Now the next step in this is to do a little mental gymnastics! What I want you to do is to fix a picture of yourself in your mind not being “THAT GUY”. Put him in the worst possible situation as it applies to your way around women. Again, make it very real so it fills your whole field of view, it has to be completely real and life like in all the details, the setting, the lighting, the smells and all sounds. This is not a comfortable place for you to be! Let that feeling grow because I want you to be squirming like you can not wait to get out of there. Freeze frame this moment and let’s give this picture a name so you remember it call it “NOT THAT GUY”. When you have him absolutely screaming to be let go, that’s when I want you to imagine that picture is shrinking and becoming less defined, less sharp. Now it is black and white, and it is the size of a postage stamp and just put it aside for a second.
At this point you are probably still pretty agitated so let’s move on to the next part. It’s time for to see the “you” that you want to be. Go back to the picture we painted earlier and take the best screen shot that there was. This is your moment of triumph! Maybe that “10” you have been eyeing has decided that it is just fine for her to hang with you for a little while and that is all you have been waiting for. You really are “THAT GUY”! So make it real! Just like before smell her perfume, hear the music, you are being so smooth. The conversation flowing, and your hand casually drops to the small of her back as you talk and she doesn’t flinch (always a good sign!). You just revel in it for a moment, enjoy it and feel really good about you! Freeze frame this moment and make a picture and we will call it “I AM THAT GUY”. Now imagine that this picture is also shrinking, becoming less defined, less sharp. Now it is black and white, and the size of a postage stamp. When it is just like that, lay it aside like you did with the first picture
Okay here comes the magic! Pick up “NOT THAT GUY” and make if fill your entire field of vision. Make it all real again. Get yourself feeling like you want to bolt from there again but…..there is a slight difference this time. In the lower left corner is a postage stamp picture of “THAT GUY”! When you are clearly seeing all of this, say the word “SWITCH” and flip the pictures. Allow “THAT GUY” to be large and in charge and let “NOT THAT GUY” be the black and white postage stamp in the lower left corner. Be cool with this for a while and just let yourself relax and enjoy the moment. Take a breath and go to someplace in your mind that is very tranquil for you. Maybe it’s your room, or maybe a favorite spot in the mountains or the beach. Any place will do as long as it is very comfortable for you there. Remember to do this every time we make the “SWITCH”
Do it all over again and again and again. The more you do this the less vivid the “NOT THAT GUY” becomes and before too long it seems as if you can hardly even see the “NOT THAT GUY” before the switch takes place. You are just seeing “THAT GUY”. As you do this a few times each day, that SWITCH happens faster and faster until you can not even bring the “NOT THAT GUY” picture to mind. When that happens you have programmed yourself for success and you are ready to give it a shot in the real world. You will be incredibly confident (comparatively speaking) and like everything else in life with practice you get better.
So that’s a crash course in building self confidence from a hypnotic standpoint, by now you have figured out that what you did was a form of Self Hypnosis and NLP. What you need to know is that all hypnosis is self hypnosis. You can use this technique for all kinds of issues you might have, or maybe you would like to take the next step and contact your friendly neighborhood hypnotist (okay… I promise that is the last plug for me).
Good luck on the prowl! Now just remember before you approach that “10” take a deep breath and say I am calm, I am in control, and I am SMOOTH!

Roch D. Preite BCH

Feb. 12, 2008